Mood: Frustrated
Last Spoke To: New friend
Last Harmed: 19 days ago (20-11)
Kay, so I managed to fix most of the drop, mostly on my own mind you! But he did message a few times, and has been quite affectionate. I gave him an offer to get out of the relationship, no guilt tripping what so ever, just gentle and even happy. But he said not at all still. So, I don't know! He did message me last night, but it would have been long after he got up and he used to message me from bed. And I answered, not getting an answer to that until 3 hours later. And he did tell me before he left for work. But you see now, usually he is home about now, and I've had no message. Only three messages all day.
Last Spoke To: New friend
Last Harmed: 19 days ago (20-11)
Kay, so I managed to fix most of the drop, mostly on my own mind you! But he did message a few times, and has been quite affectionate. I gave him an offer to get out of the relationship, no guilt tripping what so ever, just gentle and even happy. But he said not at all still. So, I don't know! He did message me last night, but it would have been long after he got up and he used to message me from bed. And I answered, not getting an answer to that until 3 hours later. And he did tell me before he left for work. But you see now, usually he is home about now, and I've had no message. Only three messages all day.
I don't know what to think. He seems very, very sure that I am his sweet girl and before he started this, we were talking about collaring me... But the affection feels so superficial when I know he is home and isn't talking to me. I wouldn't mind if we talked a bit then he just wanted to sit, but we don't at all. Not until I've complained. And even then it isn't for long... Hm. I refuse to overreact, I do like him very much and I'm led to believe he likes me, he does seem genuinely sorry. But then he never talks. Mmm. So contradictory. I want to ask him what he thinks of me trying real time again. Personally, I'm hoping he gets quite jealous haha. In an ideal fantasy, he would tell me he doesn't want me going real time with anyone but him hmhm. He would tell me we will save up and try real time together and not with others. He would tell me I am his girl and others to have me hmhm. Ah. In an ideal world, he would react negatively, say no and say he wanted me himself. I personally adore the arrangement with Daddy. No one can use my holes unless I ask him first. The way he sees it, my little one and I can fool around he lets him use me. And Daddy often says how he hopes the next one to use my holes will be him. That he wants to take the virginity of my ass haha. Ah, you love my explicit information, I know you do.
But yeah. So contradictory. I don't know what to do or say. I wish Daddy were home! He is easy to deal with haha. There is no doubt with him, he always sends emails when he can't chat, if he says he is going to do something, he does. My little one, he is perfect with affection, he does give me plenty, he just doesn't give me contact. He isn't nearly as bold as Daddy. I mean, to be completely honest, I have not seen Daddy's cock, but I have seen my little one's haha. But still, that is the only thing. Otherwise, Daddy almost always touches on the phone and tells me about it (he doesn't tell me about it so much now, but I can hear him! He ain't that subtle! Hmhm). But my little one, we haven't talked sexually on the phone and he hasn't touched on video. Mind you, I have.
Anyway. It's 1pm now, which means I probably won't hear from my little one. Hmm, did I really believe I would? He said the recent neglect is only temporary and he is always very thing on giving 'his sweet girl' the attention she deserves. I think I believe that... Hm.
On a brighter note before I sign off, I've started up a Tumblr. Mostly for pictures and quotes, so I might link creative things to that now instead. Its web address is silver-red.tumblr.com which I thought is reasonable. I didn't want to call it 'Words In My Skin' because that is here. So it is currently called 'Silver to Red' and I'm blogging a lot of D/s pictures, some horse ones and a few mental illness ones. Just anything I like. I think I might keep the pictures page up here, at least until I upload all the pictures onto Tumblr. It's just more useful because most D/s blogs are on Tumblr. But I don't want to change mine as it isn't only a blog. It has so much and I really like weebly. Besides, no one on Tumblr wants to see my oversized posts! Haha. Ok. Well. I'll be thinking about what to do about my little one, but nothing yet, I'll see if this continues. Because honestly, neglect and BPD don't mix haha, that whole fear of rejection thing and all!
Remember, I love you.
RedTears
But yeah. So contradictory. I don't know what to do or say. I wish Daddy were home! He is easy to deal with haha. There is no doubt with him, he always sends emails when he can't chat, if he says he is going to do something, he does. My little one, he is perfect with affection, he does give me plenty, he just doesn't give me contact. He isn't nearly as bold as Daddy. I mean, to be completely honest, I have not seen Daddy's cock, but I have seen my little one's haha. But still, that is the only thing. Otherwise, Daddy almost always touches on the phone and tells me about it (he doesn't tell me about it so much now, but I can hear him! He ain't that subtle! Hmhm). But my little one, we haven't talked sexually on the phone and he hasn't touched on video. Mind you, I have.
Anyway. It's 1pm now, which means I probably won't hear from my little one. Hmm, did I really believe I would? He said the recent neglect is only temporary and he is always very thing on giving 'his sweet girl' the attention she deserves. I think I believe that... Hm.
On a brighter note before I sign off, I've started up a Tumblr. Mostly for pictures and quotes, so I might link creative things to that now instead. Its web address is silver-red.tumblr.com which I thought is reasonable. I didn't want to call it 'Words In My Skin' because that is here. So it is currently called 'Silver to Red' and I'm blogging a lot of D/s pictures, some horse ones and a few mental illness ones. Just anything I like. I think I might keep the pictures page up here, at least until I upload all the pictures onto Tumblr. It's just more useful because most D/s blogs are on Tumblr. But I don't want to change mine as it isn't only a blog. It has so much and I really like weebly. Besides, no one on Tumblr wants to see my oversized posts! Haha. Ok. Well. I'll be thinking about what to do about my little one, but nothing yet, I'll see if this continues. Because honestly, neglect and BPD don't mix haha, that whole fear of rejection thing and all!
Remember, I love you.
RedTears
