Mood: Unsure
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 4 days ago (20-11)
So, let me toss a few words around first. Daddy, dog died, old friend, Master, lover, friend, choice, video. So let me start with the dog then cover your curiosity on 'Daddy'......click read more..........
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 4 days ago (20-11)
So, let me toss a few words around first. Daddy, dog died, old friend, Master, lover, friend, choice, video. So let me start with the dog then cover your curiosity on 'Daddy'......click read more..........
Old friend gets mixed up in this too. So, Thursday last week, I spoke with an old best friend, we drifted apart months ago, she went really downhill. But yeah, we spoke, my dog wasn't well, her dog wasn't well. Well, we didn't speak again. Friday my dog started having fits which lasted all weekend, finally, the morning we planned to put him down, the 19th, we woke to find him passed on. On Facebook that day, found out my old friend's dog had passed on too, that same day. My dog was nearly 14, had him since about 8 weeks old. Naturally, I was horrified, even more so that my friend's dog, who I loved dearly, was gone too. We have talked every day this week. She is better than before but I don't know about ever being so close again. She hurt me a lot.
Now let's move on to video and 'Daddy'. Quite the shock this morning. My master, you know who I am talking about, decided we could video. Or I could anyway. In retrospect, I should have told him to get his cam, that I'd wait but eh. Fingers crossed I can trust him. So anyway, he called me and had me turn on my webcam. We spoke like that. He often has me say 'yes sir' as I'm not sure of my little one being my master and my master is still trying. Of course, every part of my being recognises him currently as my master so I completely obey. So I say 'yes sir' quietly, he tells me again to say 'yes sir', he tells me until I say it loud and clear. But this time he said 'say yes sir, say yes sir RedTears' (replacing my name with RedTears). And then he said 'say yes Daddy, say it, say it RedTears'. I was speechless, and course he could see and hear that. His next words were 'you think of me in those terms sometimes don't you? You are my little girl aren't you? You are my little girl'. Well... I spent a great deal of time pondering over this after our conversation. You see, he also had me touch and slap my face lightly. I was so over stimulated haha. But anyway, this was what was running through my mind. Being his little girl, him being Daddy. I know the term 'Daddy' is a multi use word and it in no way makes him my father, but Daddy is a very important role. I hold my own father very dear to me, I do call him daddy on occasion but this would be like a second Daddy I guess. A Daddy who fucks me haha. But anyway, I read some about it. And realised, uh, he has very much been filling that role. That role as Daddy. He monitors the pictures and writings I send to my little one, I mean, I show him all of them... He always checks I am being cared for and when I cut deep, he makes sure with me that they are healing. When I'm sad, he cares and sends emails that he is thinking of me, he talks to me about it and distracts me from it if asked. He knows my most playful side and doesn't punish unless needed. He humiliates me but cares for me after, he takes what he wants but then makes sure I am happy. Everything about him, makes him Daddy. Is this something I want? Do I want to not only be his girl but be his little girl? I actually think I do. It's a level of intimacy that just seems right with him. I know he is not my lover, is he my Daddy? Hmm
Anyway, my little one and I have been going quite well. I do hope someday we might live together. Love each other. Yeah, we love now, but not in love, really. I can't tell if he wants it or not or is just unsure. Or really I don't know!
That is all tonight. Going to fall in love with my little one who is my Master. My master I want to be my Daddy. What is going on!? Haha, night, night, get some crazy repellent before you come to my site next!
Now let's move on to video and 'Daddy'. Quite the shock this morning. My master, you know who I am talking about, decided we could video. Or I could anyway. In retrospect, I should have told him to get his cam, that I'd wait but eh. Fingers crossed I can trust him. So anyway, he called me and had me turn on my webcam. We spoke like that. He often has me say 'yes sir' as I'm not sure of my little one being my master and my master is still trying. Of course, every part of my being recognises him currently as my master so I completely obey. So I say 'yes sir' quietly, he tells me again to say 'yes sir', he tells me until I say it loud and clear. But this time he said 'say yes sir, say yes sir RedTears' (replacing my name with RedTears). And then he said 'say yes Daddy, say it, say it RedTears'. I was speechless, and course he could see and hear that. His next words were 'you think of me in those terms sometimes don't you? You are my little girl aren't you? You are my little girl'. Well... I spent a great deal of time pondering over this after our conversation. You see, he also had me touch and slap my face lightly. I was so over stimulated haha. But anyway, this was what was running through my mind. Being his little girl, him being Daddy. I know the term 'Daddy' is a multi use word and it in no way makes him my father, but Daddy is a very important role. I hold my own father very dear to me, I do call him daddy on occasion but this would be like a second Daddy I guess. A Daddy who fucks me haha. But anyway, I read some about it. And realised, uh, he has very much been filling that role. That role as Daddy. He monitors the pictures and writings I send to my little one, I mean, I show him all of them... He always checks I am being cared for and when I cut deep, he makes sure with me that they are healing. When I'm sad, he cares and sends emails that he is thinking of me, he talks to me about it and distracts me from it if asked. He knows my most playful side and doesn't punish unless needed. He humiliates me but cares for me after, he takes what he wants but then makes sure I am happy. Everything about him, makes him Daddy. Is this something I want? Do I want to not only be his girl but be his little girl? I actually think I do. It's a level of intimacy that just seems right with him. I know he is not my lover, is he my Daddy? Hmm
Anyway, my little one and I have been going quite well. I do hope someday we might live together. Love each other. Yeah, we love now, but not in love, really. I can't tell if he wants it or not or is just unsure. Or really I don't know!
That is all tonight. Going to fall in love with my little one who is my Master. My master I want to be my Daddy. What is going on!? Haha, night, night, get some crazy repellent before you come to my site next!
