Mood: Happy
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 14 days ago (20-11)
Well. Only one day has passed since I last wrote but I still have more thoughts, it just won't be a long post. In other words, I forgot how low nail polish takes to dry... haha. Firstly, I figured out my status picture. It's always going to say 'Daddy's little girl & ...' lost or his, either, either... That didn't work in writing haha....Click read more..........
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 14 days ago (20-11)
Well. Only one day has passed since I last wrote but I still have more thoughts, it just won't be a long post. In other words, I forgot how low nail polish takes to dry... haha. Firstly, I figured out my status picture. It's always going to say 'Daddy's little girl & ...' lost or his, either, either... That didn't work in writing haha....Click read more..........
So, sent Daddy some rath risque pictures yesterday. Really, just, drop your jaw
in silence pictures. Used his name, as well as 'Daddy' on my skin. Since that
title isn't our constant dynamic really, nor have we quite settled into it, I
was a little unsure. But this morning, he lulled those fears. He really liked
them hmhm. I sent them to him before he went to work, apparently I'm
distracting! Go figure!
Hm, oh yes. I was
talking to my friend, not the old friend, the Dom friend. He was so in love with
his submissive, they were going to move in with each other yesterday, but when I
spoke with him, I found out she had dumped him. Apparently her friends have been
practically attacking him and been quite rude. Personally, I feel quite bad for
him. He is a good friend, I quite like him, I hate thinking of so many being so
rude to him. He has been through quite a bit. Their collaring was not long back
and they had been together for two months before that. They seemed quite fond of
one another, I know he was of her. I didn't often talk with her, but I obviously
talked with him and yeah. She seemed quite fond of him. It's horrible people
can't just move on. Apparently he has been banned from several chat rooms after
having to defend himself. Ridiculous.
We grew a little closer
when we chatted last night. Swapped pictures, talking about the silly site haha.
I had to abandon him for a few moments when Daddy got on, and chatted with my
little one amongst it all. But he understands. He always
has.
That was the other person I was talking
to. So I have been considering finding someone to practise with real time.
Considering, because not only would Daddy not like it, but my little one... Even
if he were not jealous, which I highly doubt knowing him, I don't know if I
could with how I feel for my little one. I'm not one to 'cheat', even slightly.
I'll tease, perhaps flirt. The closest I have come to 'cheating' would be with
my little one whilst I still had my master's collar. But again, they really
weren't the same dynamics. My master has always been more of my owner, my
master, my Daddy. My little one, not quite my master but my owner, my baby and
my little one of course. So yeah, anyway. I figured I've have a look, see if
there wasn't a young Dom around my area that I hit it off with even more than my
little one. Couldn't find one. Three or four older guys, decent ones, liked my
ad and adore me, two dopey, younger guys and on younger guy in Italy. But,
although he said relocation is a very likely factor, physically, he isn't what I
like, he is also not very 'tough'. I love a guy with a sharp tongue to rival
mine, I haven't found that there. So anyway, the older guys. One particular one,
I'm just batting my head. He is very much like my Daddy, similar appearance,
age, ideas, enjoyments, wordings. Very similar, and of course think I'm
absolutely gorgeous... I seem to get this comment a lot, particulaarly more
after people know my personality. Now, I know personality can make a difference.
So perhaps it is that, or people just being nice. I guess they could just say
cute or just say it once, but no, it is several times. My little one says it
often, but then, I say it to him. I first time I stripped down on the video
(goodness gracious that was a night!), he kept saying I was beautiful and
gorgeous hmhm. He takes terrible photos, of himself at least, and he should grow
his hair back out, but he is gorgeous hmhm. Very sexy, not a hairy monkey, nor
does he look like a girl. And shh, but he ain't too bad down there either haha
not small by any count. Oh dear, I could go on about my little one for ages!
I'll just shush now haha.
Back to this guy. I agreed to go onto
webcam with him, fair enough. Clothes on. I thought I was just going to chat,
just proving who I was. What is it with older guys and putting me on cam and
them not? Daddy did the same. Hm. I trust Daddy, I've heard him on the phone and
been through all our conversations, I have little doubt I know who he is. My
little one I have videoed with often, I've denied him any sexual pleasure,
fought with him, called him unaware, he showed me 'pretty' pictures of him
before I ever did of me, so I know him for sure. This guy, hm, spoken with him
for about a week, or at least nearing it. Never spoken with him on the phone, in
person or on video. Seen a couple of pictures. But that is all. He types with
'2' for to, too or two and 'u' for you and 'y' for why. I find that most
frustrating, I used to do it, but not anymore and I don't like it now. His
interests are reasonable, nothing terrible. Nothing dreadful on an internet
search. All over, other than not webcamming (he was at work, he had told me
before even considering using the cam, all job details check in too) and his
typing, he seems real and decent. Possesive, doesn't want to share. So a tad
unreasonable considering it is not real time yet. But yeah. I don't know. He
had me touch, below the camera mind you, I do have some common sense, just not
much. Then started asking if I wanted to be his, the moment I realised why he
was asking, I made sure to always say 'I think so' and 'perhaps'. Apparently he
took this as a pretty much yes. Now I don't know what to do. One, I don't really
know him, two, I don't know if I could do real time with anyone but Daddy or my
little one. I trust them both, I love them both. If I were a Domme, I'd have two
subs, I'd have them both! Haha. But I don't know what to do about this other
guy. I kinda gave up on real time until he came along. Now what? The guy is my
father's age, a bit younger than Daddy, lots and lots old than my little one
haha. My little one isn't a whole lot older than me. I don't know why I attract
older guys so much. I mean, yeah, I attract younger ones pretty well too, but
they aggravate me. Most of the time, the older ones don't seem to bother much
with young girls. Then there is me. Who every older guy seems to want to be
friends with haha. Oh, and more the moment I let the little temptress through
haha. I don't know why Daddy still wants me, but he told me that I will show him
every naughty picture and text I send to my little one because Daddy owns me, I
am Daddy's girl. Hm. Well this real time thing may kill me haha. But he has a
horse ranch... Ohh haha. That is not part of it! I swear.
Haha.
Anyway, I wrote my little one a pretty
letter, he gave me an assignment and I extended upon it hmhm. Now he has been
strange ever since. Not a bad strange, really sweet, affectionate, loving.
Amazing. Hm. Do you think we could ever spend life together? We have talked
about. I know he likes the same sorts of meals as me, a lot of the shows we like
are similar, not all but many, sexual interests are indeed quite similar, we
balance each other and put up with the other haha. I evoke emotions in him, he
evokes the logic in me and we both keep the perfect balance between us. I know
he wants a wife and family one day, which, as the entire world knows, is what I
want. He said he could put up with horses. He likes animals, which I couldn't
live without. Outdoors is ok apparently, he really like video games. I say video
games are pretty good and I quite like the outdoors so of course there is give
and take. I really would like to ask him if he would still want a D/s dynamic in
a serious, oh stuff it, I'll just say it, in a marriage. But it is kind of
awkward because, being logical him, he knows it would be hard to work with the
distance but we both love (not in love yet) each other and we honestly do fit so
well, so, asking about that kind of thing is awkward. I think I might try in our
next video. I'd really like to know.
In marriage, I don't know
about D/s. Obviously I don't want to be a domestic slave, and I do want balanced
desicions, especially when it comes to money and children. But then, I love
submitting. Perhaps it would be more of a sexual thing. Smaller choices. Or just
bringing pleasure actually. Not a sexual slave.... More a pleasure slave. Things
like pulling me to his crotch (when alone!), cuddles ect. More like an online
relationship but in real time. Yeah, that best describes it. Some nights he
might come to bed and find me naked with my collar (we're going to have a lock
on our door! Haha), or times when I know the kids aren't home, I'll be on my
knees. I wouldn't want our children to catch onto it, boys or girls, they should
be raised with views that mum and dad are equal. Perhaps when they are older, we
will share it with them. But I still won't submit in front of them and he won't
use his 'hard' voice with me in front of them. I don't want our kids going into
D/s, not at all really. But if they do, I want to know. I want to be sure I know
and be able to teach them about how to find a decent Dom or how to find a good
sub. I want to know, or at least I want their dad to know. I don't want them
learning about it and practising it like me. They don't get a Daddy Dom haha.
No, they can, I just do want to know. I want to keep an eye on it. I'd prefer
they weren't the M side of S&M haha, but if that gives them pleasure. I just
want them to feel accepted, not have to hide it. Of course I'm going to try and
steer them away from taking photos or people I or their father deem dangerous,
but it will be allowed. I'm very iffy on it of course, and I'd rather them be
Doms or Dommes, I don't want them to follow their mum and be subs. I've
experienced that haha and don't want to think of my children in it, but again,
I'll let them. I'd be likely to have a girl and boy and the girl would be a
Domme and the boy a sub haha. Nothing wrong with that, I just know it's unusual.
I wonder how our experiences would differ if I were the Domme and my little one
were the sub. RedTears the Dominatrix haha. No, it's RedTears the submissive.
Besides, I would never have met Daddy. I wonder what will happen with Daddy as I
grow older. Do you think he will hang around? Will he always be Daddy? I think
he will, but I'll send little to no pictures and the phone calls will definitely
be few and far between when I'm married. But I think he will remain Daddy and
that sexual tension will remain. I'll always be his little girl. Like a real
father I suppose. I'll show him my children, if we visit him often, he can be
'uncle' haha. Of course, I can't imagine my little one would be incredibly happy
if it were he and I together with children and we visited Uncle Al (Al is not
his real name just pointing out that his name would be put after uncle). I can't
imagine Daddy would keep his hands totally to himself either haha, maybe a slap
on the ass and no doubt a dirty glare from my little one. I'd definitely get
lots of cuddles. My little one's hands would always be on me, the one time he
would take up playing with me in front of the kids haha. I think I would like a
varying D/s dynamic in my marriage. My body is his, but no abuse in front of the
kids and the only orders are ones during 'time in the bedroom' and ones
reasonable and agreed to. I refuse to let children under my care, grow up
thinking the wife usually submits, because there are lots of people who will
take advantage of that. Perhaps there will be sneaky things like the squeeze of
a breast in a kiss, or a whispered dirty word but nothing major. We would only
ever be a bit bolder when the kids were older and had been told. Even then, I'd
be so careful. I just would not have it. I'll be back in a moment,
sorry.
Ah, all showered and pretty and clean
haha. I thought some more about it all. I support any sexuality any children in
my care take, be it gay, Dom, straight, curious, sub, sadist, whatever. I'd be
very curious to know my little one's opinion on it all. I don't think marriage
should be the end of fun in the bedroom, nor should kids be the end of fun in
the bedroom. I mean, if I were to marry my Dom, of course I'd battle with not
serving him. I'd probably take up quite the loving, housewife sort of role. I'd
still be his submissive in the bedroom haha. I wouldn't be able to help myself,
not to mention I'm naturally submissive to someone I love. It's just normal for
me, my mum never was to my father, I never really knew any women who were
particularly submissive. It was actually kind of looked down upon in the little
country town I grew up in. I'm not sure how I learned to desire it. But I do.
And I know it will be different when I settle down with someone and start a
family, but I don't think I'll be as open with it, for instance, I'm not walking
on a lead with our family. I will only do that before I have children and after
that, when the children won't see at themed get togethers and in the bedroom, or
the house if the children aren't home.
Well. I
should be off. I have somewhere to be tonight and then I will hopefully be
chatting with my little one on video. Always interesting, I might owe him a
spanking haha and I am totally nervous to be talking again. I shouldn't be, we
email every day. The pictures I've sent... The things I have done on camera.
Hmhm, I love the way his eyes stick to me as I undress. I love the way his mouth
sits open when I play haha. If I weren't his submissive, I'd swear he worships
me not the other way around haha. I just love how he stares, how he can't take
his eyes away. It's so cute and so intimidating! Haha ah. I love it, he always
seems so innocent. He tells me 'oh that's ok, take your time,' and I laugh and
answer with 'don't give me time! I'll never get it done!' so he tells me to do
it now then and starts with his 'I'm still waiting' speeches haha. So very
sweet. The moment I start getting a bit nervous, he is perfectly fine with me
stopping, taking a moment. Hmhm. We'll see what the chat brings. Bye for
now.
Remember, I love
you.
RedTears
in silence pictures. Used his name, as well as 'Daddy' on my skin. Since that
title isn't our constant dynamic really, nor have we quite settled into it, I
was a little unsure. But this morning, he lulled those fears. He really liked
them hmhm. I sent them to him before he went to work, apparently I'm
distracting! Go figure!
Hm, oh yes. I was
talking to my friend, not the old friend, the Dom friend. He was so in love with
his submissive, they were going to move in with each other yesterday, but when I
spoke with him, I found out she had dumped him. Apparently her friends have been
practically attacking him and been quite rude. Personally, I feel quite bad for
him. He is a good friend, I quite like him, I hate thinking of so many being so
rude to him. He has been through quite a bit. Their collaring was not long back
and they had been together for two months before that. They seemed quite fond of
one another, I know he was of her. I didn't often talk with her, but I obviously
talked with him and yeah. She seemed quite fond of him. It's horrible people
can't just move on. Apparently he has been banned from several chat rooms after
having to defend himself. Ridiculous.
We grew a little closer
when we chatted last night. Swapped pictures, talking about the silly site haha.
I had to abandon him for a few moments when Daddy got on, and chatted with my
little one amongst it all. But he understands. He always
has.
That was the other person I was talking
to. So I have been considering finding someone to practise with real time.
Considering, because not only would Daddy not like it, but my little one... Even
if he were not jealous, which I highly doubt knowing him, I don't know if I
could with how I feel for my little one. I'm not one to 'cheat', even slightly.
I'll tease, perhaps flirt. The closest I have come to 'cheating' would be with
my little one whilst I still had my master's collar. But again, they really
weren't the same dynamics. My master has always been more of my owner, my
master, my Daddy. My little one, not quite my master but my owner, my baby and
my little one of course. So yeah, anyway. I figured I've have a look, see if
there wasn't a young Dom around my area that I hit it off with even more than my
little one. Couldn't find one. Three or four older guys, decent ones, liked my
ad and adore me, two dopey, younger guys and on younger guy in Italy. But,
although he said relocation is a very likely factor, physically, he isn't what I
like, he is also not very 'tough'. I love a guy with a sharp tongue to rival
mine, I haven't found that there. So anyway, the older guys. One particular one,
I'm just batting my head. He is very much like my Daddy, similar appearance,
age, ideas, enjoyments, wordings. Very similar, and of course think I'm
absolutely gorgeous... I seem to get this comment a lot, particulaarly more
after people know my personality. Now, I know personality can make a difference.
So perhaps it is that, or people just being nice. I guess they could just say
cute or just say it once, but no, it is several times. My little one says it
often, but then, I say it to him. I first time I stripped down on the video
(goodness gracious that was a night!), he kept saying I was beautiful and
gorgeous hmhm. He takes terrible photos, of himself at least, and he should grow
his hair back out, but he is gorgeous hmhm. Very sexy, not a hairy monkey, nor
does he look like a girl. And shh, but he ain't too bad down there either haha
not small by any count. Oh dear, I could go on about my little one for ages!
I'll just shush now haha.
Back to this guy. I agreed to go onto
webcam with him, fair enough. Clothes on. I thought I was just going to chat,
just proving who I was. What is it with older guys and putting me on cam and
them not? Daddy did the same. Hm. I trust Daddy, I've heard him on the phone and
been through all our conversations, I have little doubt I know who he is. My
little one I have videoed with often, I've denied him any sexual pleasure,
fought with him, called him unaware, he showed me 'pretty' pictures of him
before I ever did of me, so I know him for sure. This guy, hm, spoken with him
for about a week, or at least nearing it. Never spoken with him on the phone, in
person or on video. Seen a couple of pictures. But that is all. He types with
'2' for to, too or two and 'u' for you and 'y' for why. I find that most
frustrating, I used to do it, but not anymore and I don't like it now. His
interests are reasonable, nothing terrible. Nothing dreadful on an internet
search. All over, other than not webcamming (he was at work, he had told me
before even considering using the cam, all job details check in too) and his
typing, he seems real and decent. Possesive, doesn't want to share. So a tad
unreasonable considering it is not real time yet. But yeah. I don't know. He
had me touch, below the camera mind you, I do have some common sense, just not
much. Then started asking if I wanted to be his, the moment I realised why he
was asking, I made sure to always say 'I think so' and 'perhaps'. Apparently he
took this as a pretty much yes. Now I don't know what to do. One, I don't really
know him, two, I don't know if I could do real time with anyone but Daddy or my
little one. I trust them both, I love them both. If I were a Domme, I'd have two
subs, I'd have them both! Haha. But I don't know what to do about this other
guy. I kinda gave up on real time until he came along. Now what? The guy is my
father's age, a bit younger than Daddy, lots and lots old than my little one
haha. My little one isn't a whole lot older than me. I don't know why I attract
older guys so much. I mean, yeah, I attract younger ones pretty well too, but
they aggravate me. Most of the time, the older ones don't seem to bother much
with young girls. Then there is me. Who every older guy seems to want to be
friends with haha. Oh, and more the moment I let the little temptress through
haha. I don't know why Daddy still wants me, but he told me that I will show him
every naughty picture and text I send to my little one because Daddy owns me, I
am Daddy's girl. Hm. Well this real time thing may kill me haha. But he has a
horse ranch... Ohh haha. That is not part of it! I swear.
Haha.
Anyway, I wrote my little one a pretty
letter, he gave me an assignment and I extended upon it hmhm. Now he has been
strange ever since. Not a bad strange, really sweet, affectionate, loving.
Amazing. Hm. Do you think we could ever spend life together? We have talked
about. I know he likes the same sorts of meals as me, a lot of the shows we like
are similar, not all but many, sexual interests are indeed quite similar, we
balance each other and put up with the other haha. I evoke emotions in him, he
evokes the logic in me and we both keep the perfect balance between us. I know
he wants a wife and family one day, which, as the entire world knows, is what I
want. He said he could put up with horses. He likes animals, which I couldn't
live without. Outdoors is ok apparently, he really like video games. I say video
games are pretty good and I quite like the outdoors so of course there is give
and take. I really would like to ask him if he would still want a D/s dynamic in
a serious, oh stuff it, I'll just say it, in a marriage. But it is kind of
awkward because, being logical him, he knows it would be hard to work with the
distance but we both love (not in love yet) each other and we honestly do fit so
well, so, asking about that kind of thing is awkward. I think I might try in our
next video. I'd really like to know.
In marriage, I don't know
about D/s. Obviously I don't want to be a domestic slave, and I do want balanced
desicions, especially when it comes to money and children. But then, I love
submitting. Perhaps it would be more of a sexual thing. Smaller choices. Or just
bringing pleasure actually. Not a sexual slave.... More a pleasure slave. Things
like pulling me to his crotch (when alone!), cuddles ect. More like an online
relationship but in real time. Yeah, that best describes it. Some nights he
might come to bed and find me naked with my collar (we're going to have a lock
on our door! Haha), or times when I know the kids aren't home, I'll be on my
knees. I wouldn't want our children to catch onto it, boys or girls, they should
be raised with views that mum and dad are equal. Perhaps when they are older, we
will share it with them. But I still won't submit in front of them and he won't
use his 'hard' voice with me in front of them. I don't want our kids going into
D/s, not at all really. But if they do, I want to know. I want to be sure I know
and be able to teach them about how to find a decent Dom or how to find a good
sub. I want to know, or at least I want their dad to know. I don't want them
learning about it and practising it like me. They don't get a Daddy Dom haha.
No, they can, I just do want to know. I want to keep an eye on it. I'd prefer
they weren't the M side of S&M haha, but if that gives them pleasure. I just
want them to feel accepted, not have to hide it. Of course I'm going to try and
steer them away from taking photos or people I or their father deem dangerous,
but it will be allowed. I'm very iffy on it of course, and I'd rather them be
Doms or Dommes, I don't want them to follow their mum and be subs. I've
experienced that haha and don't want to think of my children in it, but again,
I'll let them. I'd be likely to have a girl and boy and the girl would be a
Domme and the boy a sub haha. Nothing wrong with that, I just know it's unusual.
I wonder how our experiences would differ if I were the Domme and my little one
were the sub. RedTears the Dominatrix haha. No, it's RedTears the submissive.
Besides, I would never have met Daddy. I wonder what will happen with Daddy as I
grow older. Do you think he will hang around? Will he always be Daddy? I think
he will, but I'll send little to no pictures and the phone calls will definitely
be few and far between when I'm married. But I think he will remain Daddy and
that sexual tension will remain. I'll always be his little girl. Like a real
father I suppose. I'll show him my children, if we visit him often, he can be
'uncle' haha. Of course, I can't imagine my little one would be incredibly happy
if it were he and I together with children and we visited Uncle Al (Al is not
his real name just pointing out that his name would be put after uncle). I can't
imagine Daddy would keep his hands totally to himself either haha, maybe a slap
on the ass and no doubt a dirty glare from my little one. I'd definitely get
lots of cuddles. My little one's hands would always be on me, the one time he
would take up playing with me in front of the kids haha. I think I would like a
varying D/s dynamic in my marriage. My body is his, but no abuse in front of the
kids and the only orders are ones during 'time in the bedroom' and ones
reasonable and agreed to. I refuse to let children under my care, grow up
thinking the wife usually submits, because there are lots of people who will
take advantage of that. Perhaps there will be sneaky things like the squeeze of
a breast in a kiss, or a whispered dirty word but nothing major. We would only
ever be a bit bolder when the kids were older and had been told. Even then, I'd
be so careful. I just would not have it. I'll be back in a moment,
sorry.
Ah, all showered and pretty and clean
haha. I thought some more about it all. I support any sexuality any children in
my care take, be it gay, Dom, straight, curious, sub, sadist, whatever. I'd be
very curious to know my little one's opinion on it all. I don't think marriage
should be the end of fun in the bedroom, nor should kids be the end of fun in
the bedroom. I mean, if I were to marry my Dom, of course I'd battle with not
serving him. I'd probably take up quite the loving, housewife sort of role. I'd
still be his submissive in the bedroom haha. I wouldn't be able to help myself,
not to mention I'm naturally submissive to someone I love. It's just normal for
me, my mum never was to my father, I never really knew any women who were
particularly submissive. It was actually kind of looked down upon in the little
country town I grew up in. I'm not sure how I learned to desire it. But I do.
And I know it will be different when I settle down with someone and start a
family, but I don't think I'll be as open with it, for instance, I'm not walking
on a lead with our family. I will only do that before I have children and after
that, when the children won't see at themed get togethers and in the bedroom, or
the house if the children aren't home.
Well. I
should be off. I have somewhere to be tonight and then I will hopefully be
chatting with my little one on video. Always interesting, I might owe him a
spanking haha and I am totally nervous to be talking again. I shouldn't be, we
email every day. The pictures I've sent... The things I have done on camera.
Hmhm, I love the way his eyes stick to me as I undress. I love the way his mouth
sits open when I play haha. If I weren't his submissive, I'd swear he worships
me not the other way around haha. I just love how he stares, how he can't take
his eyes away. It's so cute and so intimidating! Haha ah. I love it, he always
seems so innocent. He tells me 'oh that's ok, take your time,' and I laugh and
answer with 'don't give me time! I'll never get it done!' so he tells me to do
it now then and starts with his 'I'm still waiting' speeches haha. So very
sweet. The moment I start getting a bit nervous, he is perfectly fine with me
stopping, taking a moment. Hmhm. We'll see what the chat brings. Bye for
now.
Remember, I love
you.
RedTears
