Mood: Hopeful
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 18 days ago
Ok, good and bad news. Bad is that he didn't answer me in the morning. He didn't answer through the day. It was late afternoon before he contacted me. Was I pissed? Yes. Did I tell him? No. Could I remain pissed at him for long? No. Did he apologise? Yes. That was the good news, that he apologised. But now I want to rip my hair out because he is giving out orders again and I really can't please well at the moment, nor enjoy it. Will he understand that? Hell no. Goodness, I want Daddy to come home. I need Daddy to talk to my little one and teach him haha. But then he is giving orders about cuddles so perhaps it's how best he can show that kind of affection online for him. I suppose... Hm, I can't decide whether I'm making excuses for him by saying it's his affection or if I'm being difficult by saying he is giving orders when I can't handle it. Ah that's funny.
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 18 days ago
Ok, good and bad news. Bad is that he didn't answer me in the morning. He didn't answer through the day. It was late afternoon before he contacted me. Was I pissed? Yes. Did I tell him? No. Could I remain pissed at him for long? No. Did he apologise? Yes. That was the good news, that he apologised. But now I want to rip my hair out because he is giving out orders again and I really can't please well at the moment, nor enjoy it. Will he understand that? Hell no. Goodness, I want Daddy to come home. I need Daddy to talk to my little one and teach him haha. But then he is giving orders about cuddles so perhaps it's how best he can show that kind of affection online for him. I suppose... Hm, I can't decide whether I'm making excuses for him by saying it's his affection or if I'm being difficult by saying he is giving orders when I can't handle it. Ah that's funny.
Well, I sent him what I would do when I wanted a cuddle, crawl up onto the couch, as far away from him as possible, and hug my knees tight into my chest, just waiting to see if he wanted a cuddle. Well. I am supposed to be honest haha. That is what I would do. I spent an hour working on overcoming majority of that drop last night (feeling a lot better) and I'm very unsure after having to get over all the doubts myself, I don't doubt now I suppose, I'm just not as positive... That doesn't work. Oh well. I know I'm just very unsure and I would in no way be very forward at all. I'd be very shy and very reserved. I'd hold myself right back, the dance and grace I get in my stride when I actually have confidence and am happy would be gone. It would be only a quiet, subtle step, trying to be as hidden as possible. Haha, I'm rather aware of my body and its reactions to certain things, particularly emotions. Rather aware of my mannerisms with certain emotions too and I know, feeling like I do now, I'd be very quiet, very unsure, very gentle, very subtle. There would be no big shows of anything, I wouldn't try to make any statements. I just be hushed. Currently I am very unbalanced. Subdued, but unbalanced.
And he still hasn't answered... Oh dear. If he disappears again, this is not going to end well, I can see it now. Oh goodness I hope he answers. Oh, there we go, hang on.
HA! I shocked him haha. Usually I am quite impatient when it comes to cuddles, ah, he kind of noticed the patience in my message, the uncertainty. I asked if he would prefer me to write something like usual, but pointed out that to be honest, that is what I would do. Now to see what he says. To me, this is a bit of a test of character. I'm not sure what he will say actually. I'm looking for some reassurance but I don't know if I'll get it because he did say 'greedy pet', that usually mean a tad horny haha. Let's see how like to males he really is haha. Daddy would start telling me all about how much he cared for me, my little one... On a day he was feeling gentle he would tell me how much he loved me. But today... I don't know. I may get in trouble. I may get ignored. I may get told to write more pleasingly. Or, if I'm very lucky, I may get reassured like I want.
Ah!!!! He did it!!!!! He didn't tell me to please him better, or write more or anything like that. Yes, he did remain horny, talking about groping and what not, but he does know I find that lust quite reassuring. He said how he would be the greedy one. He was fantastic. He is fantastic. I am truly pleased and lucky haha.
Over that tirade now haha. I'm still pleased he did that, the joy has just died down. He is going out with friends. But. I am fine. He told me. That was all I ask. And he did say he felt guilty. Kay. I'm fine. I know he loves me. I know that and I am going to remember that. Daddy loves me and my little one loves me. Always.
But, when we do talk again, because of the two jobs and going out with friends (he lives in the city), we are going to have to reorganise some more. I need to explain to him. I might work out to do it on video. But for that, I will have to write it down. So, how does it need to be reorganised? Well, for starters, he needs to tell me when he goes out. He expects to be pleased and to not have to wait too long, well then I expect to know when he isn't home and won't ask for anything. Also, with so little time with him now, he needs to be a bit more involved himself. Maybe that means videos or pictures of himself for me, not as exposed or often as I am required to, just sometimes. Or maybe, probably actually, calling a whole lot more. Just for a few minutes. Videoing a little more would be nice too but I know that is harder and I honestly do care that he is working two jobs. I understand fully and I don't hold it against him at all. It's perfectly fine. It's just that if we can only have some contact, I need a little more voice contact. Actually, perhaps this would be best to send to him now? Hm. I think so. I'll send him a little explanation haha. Sounds good to me. He needs to know. And let's face it. If he can't comply to my wishes too, he isn't the guy for me, kay? See, Daddy can offer me the voice contact and we don't talk often so it is really good. I just need my little to understand that. And that's alright. Ok. Just breath silly little girl.
So, I'm off to explain to him. I'll probably write later, then you will see if he still wanted to put up with a needy submissive haha. I can offer incredible pleasure but it doesn't come free! And don't you submissives ever let it! Slave, slut, babygirl, doesn't matter what you are, don't just give away your service submissives, get what you need too.
Remember, I love you.
RedTears
And he still hasn't answered... Oh dear. If he disappears again, this is not going to end well, I can see it now. Oh goodness I hope he answers. Oh, there we go, hang on.
HA! I shocked him haha. Usually I am quite impatient when it comes to cuddles, ah, he kind of noticed the patience in my message, the uncertainty. I asked if he would prefer me to write something like usual, but pointed out that to be honest, that is what I would do. Now to see what he says. To me, this is a bit of a test of character. I'm not sure what he will say actually. I'm looking for some reassurance but I don't know if I'll get it because he did say 'greedy pet', that usually mean a tad horny haha. Let's see how like to males he really is haha. Daddy would start telling me all about how much he cared for me, my little one... On a day he was feeling gentle he would tell me how much he loved me. But today... I don't know. I may get in trouble. I may get ignored. I may get told to write more pleasingly. Or, if I'm very lucky, I may get reassured like I want.
Ah!!!! He did it!!!!! He didn't tell me to please him better, or write more or anything like that. Yes, he did remain horny, talking about groping and what not, but he does know I find that lust quite reassuring. He said how he would be the greedy one. He was fantastic. He is fantastic. I am truly pleased and lucky haha.
Over that tirade now haha. I'm still pleased he did that, the joy has just died down. He is going out with friends. But. I am fine. He told me. That was all I ask. And he did say he felt guilty. Kay. I'm fine. I know he loves me. I know that and I am going to remember that. Daddy loves me and my little one loves me. Always.
But, when we do talk again, because of the two jobs and going out with friends (he lives in the city), we are going to have to reorganise some more. I need to explain to him. I might work out to do it on video. But for that, I will have to write it down. So, how does it need to be reorganised? Well, for starters, he needs to tell me when he goes out. He expects to be pleased and to not have to wait too long, well then I expect to know when he isn't home and won't ask for anything. Also, with so little time with him now, he needs to be a bit more involved himself. Maybe that means videos or pictures of himself for me, not as exposed or often as I am required to, just sometimes. Or maybe, probably actually, calling a whole lot more. Just for a few minutes. Videoing a little more would be nice too but I know that is harder and I honestly do care that he is working two jobs. I understand fully and I don't hold it against him at all. It's perfectly fine. It's just that if we can only have some contact, I need a little more voice contact. Actually, perhaps this would be best to send to him now? Hm. I think so. I'll send him a little explanation haha. Sounds good to me. He needs to know. And let's face it. If he can't comply to my wishes too, he isn't the guy for me, kay? See, Daddy can offer me the voice contact and we don't talk often so it is really good. I just need my little to understand that. And that's alright. Ok. Just breath silly little girl.
So, I'm off to explain to him. I'll probably write later, then you will see if he still wanted to put up with a needy submissive haha. I can offer incredible pleasure but it doesn't come free! And don't you submissives ever let it! Slave, slut, babygirl, doesn't matter what you are, don't just give away your service submissives, get what you need too.
Remember, I love you.
RedTears
