Mood: Um...
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 5 minutes ago
Ouch, ouch and ouch. My hip is throbbing, there is a bandage around my thigh and there are about 31 cuts bleeding. Some are just upset deep, the others are really deep. A few didn't even bleed at first, it was past the blood layer. But now they are definitely bleeding, A LOT. At least one is needing stitches deep. But no one knows I still cut. So I have a bandage putting on pressure and I'm hoping they stop soon... So yeah, what do I do? My little one has gone out of course my master is upset with me, I know he would talk with me if I told him what I had done but I'm not going to blackmail him like that.....click read more...
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 5 minutes ago
Ouch, ouch and ouch. My hip is throbbing, there is a bandage around my thigh and there are about 31 cuts bleeding. Some are just upset deep, the others are really deep. A few didn't even bleed at first, it was past the blood layer. But now they are definitely bleeding, A LOT. At least one is needing stitches deep. But no one knows I still cut. So I have a bandage putting on pressure and I'm hoping they stop soon... So yeah, what do I do? My little one has gone out of course my master is upset with me, I know he would talk with me if I told him what I had done but I'm not going to blackmail him like that.....click read more...
So instead, I'm alone, I'm shaking, I'm getting dizzy, but I feel better. Though I think I'm about to fall asleep. Between classes, dominants, love and my submission right now, I'm going to die haha. So, here's to hoping I don't need stitches cause it is in my primary cutting place and there would be no lying about what it was from.
I don't really know what to do. I can physically put my finger in a few of those cuts, I don't even know how they will heal... The skin just flops around. I wrote 'LOST' twice as well. Once big and just upset deep, the second time small and really deep. I hate writing 'T' or 't' in cuts, you have to cross over the initial cut and that cross spot bleeds like crazy and takes ages to heal. Tired and blood lose really don't mix. Should have though of that. Not that I thought of anything much but still. So um, yeah, ow. I'd say life hates me but that would be wrong, I hate me. I just kept going. I'd stop to clean the blood and then do another, deeper, longer, harder. Watching emotionless, loveless. I'm so tired now. The emotional pain isn't even gone. I want to do more. I want to. I was just going to reopen a few, but then they were so deep, it felt so good, it looked so punishing. It hurt so much.
I think I'm going to go to bed for a while, I can hardly keep my eyes open, my leg stings, my little one is out, my master doesn't like talking to me. Bed seems better. Hm. Bed. Please don't make my second mistake either. Don't cut. Now I have to hope they need no stitches and don't get infected, I have to hope no one sees and I cannot take pictures or videos for anyone (my little one or my master) cause they will see them. Farewell for now. Don't do it. It isn't worth it. Try the best you can, please, for me.
Remember, I love you
RedTears
PS. Contact me any time at [email protected] we can talk about anything, I won't bite you, I promise.
I don't really know what to do. I can physically put my finger in a few of those cuts, I don't even know how they will heal... The skin just flops around. I wrote 'LOST' twice as well. Once big and just upset deep, the second time small and really deep. I hate writing 'T' or 't' in cuts, you have to cross over the initial cut and that cross spot bleeds like crazy and takes ages to heal. Tired and blood lose really don't mix. Should have though of that. Not that I thought of anything much but still. So um, yeah, ow. I'd say life hates me but that would be wrong, I hate me. I just kept going. I'd stop to clean the blood and then do another, deeper, longer, harder. Watching emotionless, loveless. I'm so tired now. The emotional pain isn't even gone. I want to do more. I want to. I was just going to reopen a few, but then they were so deep, it felt so good, it looked so punishing. It hurt so much.
I think I'm going to go to bed for a while, I can hardly keep my eyes open, my leg stings, my little one is out, my master doesn't like talking to me. Bed seems better. Hm. Bed. Please don't make my second mistake either. Don't cut. Now I have to hope they need no stitches and don't get infected, I have to hope no one sees and I cannot take pictures or videos for anyone (my little one or my master) cause they will see them. Farewell for now. Don't do it. It isn't worth it. Try the best you can, please, for me.
Remember, I love you
RedTears
PS. Contact me any time at [email protected] we can talk about anything, I won't bite you, I promise.
