Don't Panic!

12/21/2012

 
Mood: Happy
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 31 days ago (20-11)

Don't freak out, I was fixing the site up for my little one to visit eventually and decided I quite liked it. Now I just have to hide the About and Blog pages. You will still find my blog here though, I promise. My life is too dramatic to take that away from you haha. So yeah, don't worry, just a little rearranging, I like it this way. I'm thinking of combining the Stories page with the Songs & Poems page since I now have such a long list! And maybe Bits & Bobs with Thoughts. We'll see. Anyway, I do have more to say on my little one.
He has truly been incredible. This is why I stay with him, because he really does try and I appreciate that. That is what I love. He listens and tried. When he could just tell me to shut up because as I said to him, he's stuck with me, I'm not leaving in a hurry. I've spent much too much time showing him what I like and helping him learn to walk away now. Besides, I've learnt way too much about how amazing he is to want to walk away. He is miiiiine, all mine. Last night, I was mucking around 'I don't recall sleeping next to someone gorgeous in the past few hours so it would have been some other girl not nearly as good at pleasing my Master'. In my mind, the 'my Master' was more like 'MYYYYYY Master'. With a 'mine, mine, mine' afterward haha.  I love that he is mine as much as I am his. I mean, I'm a good girl, I do as I'm told, I'm a gentle person, I don't bite. But if you come near him and try to either take him or hurt him, I will bite, hard. He'd need a strong leash to hold me back if you were trying to hurt him! He is very big though, strong and tall, so I don't think you would get far, but it won't stop me, I'll still try. The image of a young, blue eyed girl sitting naked but a collar upon the lap of a tall, darked haired man's lap, his arms wrapped around her, kissing her neck whilst she looks out at you with her narrowed, blue eyes comes to mind. She'd kill you in moments if you touched haha. And I'd wanna bet he would kill you in moments if you touched her haha, I'm not the only possessive one. 

Well, December 21st today, I can honestly say, if the world ended today, I'm just glad I met him. On Facebook, someone's status was about every girl wanting that type of message, I want it, but I want it from him. But I doubt he will, he isn't that kind of romantic! I can wish though haha. Can't have eeeverything. He's romantic would be balling me up and holding me tight, letting the thought run through his head maybe but not saying a word. Oh well, I like that too!

I haven't come up with anyway to make it more enjoyable for him. The best I have is snail mail. Send him a couple of things from time to time. Even send him a bra haha. I think that he would like. I don't think he would be dirty enough to like panties (that still kind of disturbs me) but I don't think he would be innocent enough to enjoy a simple shirt. So a bra is in between isn't it? What else? I think he would like the bear too haha. Hmm.

He has been and gone for the day. He was home late from work as usual. In his defence, he does stay online for as long as possible. But eventually it gets very late and he either falls asleep or says he is off to bed. He was very, very sweet though, absolutely beautiful boy. I love the darling. What he is saying and doing recently is so perfect, I just hope he means it. Which I do think he does, he isn't the type to lie like that. He said this afternoon that he is worried at times that I'm not entirely happy. He is such a duffer sometimes! I wouldn't swap him for the world. He's mine and I'm glad he's mine, no one else can have him. Though perhaps I'm being a bit short sighted, I have very similar worries. Constantly... Maybe he has similar responses as me? Hmhm, maybe he thinks I'm his and he's glad I'm his, no one else can have me hmhm. That would be nice indeed. That would be lovely. I can dream haha. For now, he's mine, all mine and no one else's. I don't know when it will end, if it will end or how it will end but to me it seems like home. He seems like home. Not the kind of home you move from, not the building. But where the heart is, where the family is. You know, the emotional home. We shall ignore the fact that if I lose it, I will be shattered. He would probably have to be the one to end it and I'd be so low. I just can't imagine being without him. Without him as my Master. I don't want that, I don't need that. I mean, when he does finally have enough for college, I'm going to try and make sure he does psychology, because he truly is amazing at it (with a little more empathy that he is slowly learning), and he enjoys it. But yeah, this is so perfect for me because of the strange way my mind does work. Most people just don't understand. Daddy is similar, so he understands, otherwise, my little one is the first to ever understand. And I think that is because of his current understanding of most. In an argument, we are so funny, in the end, we will have completely swapped sides. Particularly now and particularly with each other, we are more worried about the other. It is so funny but we will both become quite upset. Never, ever hurtful, quite the opposite. But yeah. Together against others, we would certainly be a force to be reckoned with. People think I'm difficult, he has me reverting to nonsense almost every time. When it comes to more philosophical arguments though, goodness me, neither of us give up haha. That is what taught me about giving up the last word, it's the only way we end it. Unless we agree. Or actually, if it has me quite upset, he will give up the last word. Very occasionally haha. But, when I'm ready to walk away after a fight, he is incredibly affectionate and sweet. Even more than usual... Hm.

Anyway, must be off. Been playing at tumblr angel for a little. Made some beautiful new friends and each and every one, cuts. But that is fine by me.

Remember, I love you.
RedTears

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