Mood: Unsure
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed:  4 days ago (20-11)

So, let me toss a few words around first. Daddy, dog died, old friend, Master, lover, friend, choice, video. So let me start with the dog then cover your curiosity on 'Daddy'......click read more..........

Mood: Confused! And in love...
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 7 days ago (10-11)

Hum... How confusing... So, there is a possibility, however big or small, that I am beginning to fall in love... With my little one.Yeah um. I never did tell you about that video chat, but we have had three now.  Am I falling in love or just liking what I'm hearing?

Mood: Happy
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 2 days ago (10-11)

So I was a bit quick to judge perhaps. My little one hasn't been all that bad. My master says I could earn his collar back, it would take some patience. But, reading between the lines and face value, he cares for me, very much. He does want me back and he does want me. The question now, do I want his collar over my little one's? Do I actually want that? He is becoming much more dominant now and is regaining the love he used to give me before we agreed to try again. He is, I'm sorry to say this but, a little more entertaining than my master because of the things he says he would and does want me to do. When I send him a picture, he tells me I'm beautiful. He likes belts round the neck and collars (aha my favourites!!)....click read more....

Mood: Um...
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 5 minutes ago

Ouch, ouch and ouch. My hip is throbbing, there is a bandage around my thigh and there are about 31 cuts bleeding. Some are just upset deep, the others are really deep. A few didn't even bleed at first, it was past the blood layer. But now they are definitely bleeding, A LOT. At least one is needing stitches deep. But no one knows I still cut. So I have a bandage putting on pressure and I'm hoping they stop soon... So yeah, what do I do? My little one has gone out of course my master is upset with me, I know he would talk with me if I told him what I had done but I'm not going to blackmail him like that.....click read more...

Mood: Utterly and totally lost and depressed
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: Bloody well about to

I was wrong, I am wrong, my gosh! What an idiot! Why did I never remember the trial with my little one when my... master, was away? I did it today, I was released from he who I'm going to keep referring to as my master. For label or not, he is my master in my heart.....click read more....

Mood: Frustrated
Last Spoke To: Mum!
Last Harmed: 4 days ago (3-11)

Blah. The little one has been in bed for ages. Face it, you're always going to get updates on him, he is a massive part of my day, even of my life now. Shocked he isn't getting sick of me, he is still up late some nights talking with me. Not mentioning we talk every day. I suppose I'm just waiting for it to fall out, but it doesn't seem to be. We fight and get over it. We love and continue on our day and talk. It's just strange... Normal... Amazing haha. Love him. Anyway, there are other things in my day! Although, a lot of this post will revolve around my wonderful task from my little one to break it off with my current master. Don't get me wrong, I love my current master. My little one would keep talking to me as a friend should that make me happy. But really, there's the final, deciding factor. He wants what makes me happy.

Mood: Loved
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 3 days ago (3-11)

Still no progress on leaving my current master but my little one is making me happier than ever. He is starting work again soon (finally got hired!) and I swear, if he settles and doesn't save to go to college for psychology  I'm going to fly over there and give him a big mouthful about how he better start or I'm going to manage his money and save for him! Haha. He is so good at it and even he admits he loves it. I think he is basically stupid if he doesn't get into psychology when he has the money for college. And I know for a fact my little one is not stupid. I might tease him about it but I couldn't be more wrong! I tease him about a lot but so often it is about stuff that is not in one way true.....click read more......

Mood: Depressed
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: Yesterday

What a dreadful weekend! If not for my little one, I'd have a second suicide attempt to add to my list. As is, I reopened the cuts on my hand and ankle and then decorated my hip with billions of long, shallow cuts. They won't scar, they were done with scissors. Only because I was considering stabbing my leg and knew I couldn't do that up at the house! You will be proud to know that I didn't though! Just billions of cuts. No stabbing, I stopped myself! I actually stopped myself! I tried but I was battling with myself and only stabbed lightly, I think I drew blood once or twice but only a pinprick. Apparently you don't cut in the dark where you can't see what you have done, cause you just keep going......click read more.......